Deconstructing Irony

Ever hear a song that you haven't heard in a while and think "God, how was THIS ever popular?"?

The other day I was waiting in line to get some lunch and Alanis Morisette's Ironic was playing on what I can only assume was HAS-BEEN FM ("All washed-up, All the time!") and as I listened to the lyrics I thought to myself, are there any actual examples of irony nestled in amongst all this drivel?

Lets do some deconstruction!

The definition of irony reads:

the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning

There is also a thing called dramatic irony which is

irony that is inherent in speeches or a situation of a drama and is understood by the audience but not grasped by the characters in the play.

So how do the lines of Morisette's opus fit into these definitions? Lets take a look at a some lyrics:

An old man, turned 98
He won the lottery, and died the next day

Sad? Sure, people dying outside the context of a James Bond movie usually are. Ironic? Not really... Now if he had said "I'm going to use this lottery money to clone myself so that I can live forever!" just before dying, this might fit the definition of dramatic irony... but as it stands Morisette is simply describing the barely-surprising occurrence of a very old man leaving this mortal coil.

Mr. Play-It-Safe, was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase, and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life, to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought, "Well isn't this nice?"

The only thing that fits the definition of "Irony" in this stanza is Mr. Play-It-Safe's (son of Herb and Judy Play-It-Safe of the Long Island Play-It-Safes) little internal non sequiter - "Well isn't this nice" is very obviously not what he's thinking as the aircraft falls out of the sky IF HE WAS BEING LITERAL. This statement could also be an example of sarcasm or sardonic...ness.

The rest of the verse - the exposition detailing Play-It-Safe overcoming his crippling, life-long aviophobia affliction - expresses nothing that would be considered ironic - merely tragic. I feel especially sorry for Timmy Play-It-Safe, who will never be able to play catch with his Pop, or Sally Play-It-Safe, who loved her daddy's horsey rides.

A traffic jam, when you're already late
A "No smoking" sign, on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife

The man of your dreams wouldn't be married (unless it was Tiger Woods - ZING!) Not Ironic

If you needed a knife for something, the last place you would look is Jake's Spoon Emporium, the only place 10,000 spoons would logically be in the close proximity. Not Ironic.

"No Smoking" signs are everywhere. People who go on breaks with the express purpose of smoking a cancer-stick have designated spots in which to do so WHERE THERE AREN'T ANY SUCH SIGNS. Not Ironic.

A traffic jam when you're already late is (depending on where you live) is a fact of life. Chances are you're late because of the traffic jam. NOT IRONIC!

In closing, I don't want to make any broad generalisations, but this song is retarded. I apologise for getting all post-modern all you and to make up for it, here's something which also exposes the flaws of this 90s flashback in a much more enlightened way.

EDIT - I cant believe I made it thru a whole post about Alanis Morisette without mentioning that she went down on Uncle Joey from Full House in a cinema... I'm slipping.